the unbearable menopause of being

sorry blog, it has been over a month since my last confession…

what the f*** is going on with my body? I have absolutely no control over my emotions these last few weeks. if someone could tell my brain to stop doing this, it would be greatly appreciated… Tears keep pouring over my cheeks… The littlest thing upsets me…

I thought menopause had already hit me when it gave me a subscription to Hot Flashes Daily… Now here come the mood swings! It feels as though I still have my period, only every day… Emotions seem to multiply x10 in intensity: being in love, sadness, hurt, …

Isn’t it a weird thing that when you take out the uterus and ovaries, it can have such a big impact on the mind… chemicals in motion…

It seems I have been confronted with my shortcomings as a woman these last couple of weeks: pregnancy announcement, baby visits, adoption announcement, guys wanting children-which automatically excludes me… I AM happy for these people!! Let that be clear!! But it’s as if someone holds a mirror in front of my face and tells me: “you can’t…” It’s not that I want children, it’s the fact that I don’t have the choice, and don’t feel like a complete woman anymore… I guess I feel inadequate…  Add to that the fact that I had my mind set on working fulltime again, which my body didn’t agree with…
Unfortunately this has resulted in a few breakdowns, even at work… I didn’t want to, but I just kept crying… My hormones are completely out of order and messing with me… And I don’t want to be the woman who everybody is afraid of telling anything to. I don’t want to seem like a bitter, middle-aged, postmenstrual, jealous bitch… NO!

I like hearing good news! But it would be nice if, for a change, I could actually bring some good news…



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